Let’s Try.

My husband didn’t come home last night. He showed up this morning at 7 a.m. I get lost between when he is bamboozling me and when we are having communication problems and when I am paranoid and when he’s trying to hurt me on purpose and when I’m deliberately misunderstanding him because I like to feel the special pain I get when I’m being hurt by him. It’s comfortable and easy there.This part is the hardest part yet, I think. I am afraid of other women, and I think my husband might be enjoying me being afraid. We both feel like we owe each other a lot of hurting.I made this site private because he’s been reading a lot, and he is particularly upset about my posts about marriage counseling, which I understand. I should have considered how he might feel if he read my posts about our private c…